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Archive for the ‘marriage’ Category

America’s Child Marriage Problem (Videos)

America’s Child Marriage Problem
America/USA prides itself in being the beacon of light when it comes to human rights and a strong component of protection of its youth and justice for all members of its society. Yet when one looks closely it can be seen that some of these tenants are not held as strongly as one would imagine.
Reading just a few articles on this topic, it appears that there some disparity when it comes to the topic of young people entering marriage. There is a bit of an imbalance when it comes to young people, particularly young women, who, while not old enough to drink, vote or join the military; they can be married as young as 12 years of age in most states across the nation. The law includes a clause, “with exception” which can be enforced in a number of ways.
Unfortunately, many of these marriages present serious problems for the young female, that, under other circumstances can be described as child abuse if the child is home living with their parents.
In A NYTimes article dated OCT. 13, 2015 and written by By FRAIDY REISS
NYTimes article: “America’s Child-Marriage Problem”


 
Fraidy Reiss is executive director of Unchained at Last, a nonprofit that helps women and girls leave or avoid arranged and forced marriages.
Unchained at Last info here……..
“Child marriage chart reveals girls can wed at 12 in some parts of the US – as lawmakers battle to raise age to 16”
‘Several states – including Massachusetts – allow children to get married ‘in exceptional circumstances’

From Independent from the UK an article posted on May 14, 2017,written by Andrew Buncombe entitled “New Jersey governor refuses to ban child marriage because ‘it would conflict with religious customs”

Could there be a link between these young marriages, particularly those happening between young girls between the ages of 12 (sometimes 9 years old) and 16, and pedophilia?
Are we looking at a social justice system that penalizes a young person whose picture cannot appear in the papers due to being a juvenile, but who cannot get support or help from a justice system about various complaints of abuse, due to the fact that she may be underage and married to the offender?
When an underage victim of rape or incest has the right to plead their case in a court of law, how is it that an individual of the same age has no right to testify against her husband who may have violate her in a similar or maybe even more severe fashion?
How is it that a Children’s hospital will address the medical needs of children up to the age of 24. Is not that establishment acknowledging that young people have medical, mental and emotional issues that relegate them to the status of children or underage.
This is a very interesting topic that contains many, many contradictions in its employment with folks on both sides of the aisle.
The Social Justice Experiment video shows the natural response that folks have to the concept of an older man marrying a young girl perhaps decades younger than he, and yet these laws are still on the books throughout the USA and still practiced in other countries around the world.  Why doesn’t the reaction of these people get the laws to change?
The Children of this world are at risk on so many levels. We can only hope that people will come to the realization that this is true and do something about it!
What are your thoughts?
Leave your comments below.

Thank You.
LINKS OF INTEREST
America’s Child-Marriage Problem
Child marriage chart reveals girls can wed at 12 in some parts of the US – as lawmakers battle to raise age to 16
New Jersey governor refuses to ban child marriage because ‘it would conflict with religious customs’
UN-Arrange a Marriage … RE-Arrange a Life

Oh Lord, Michelle Is Leaving Obama? (Videos)

NB Commentary: You know, there’s an old saying that says, the Obvious is just not Obvious to the uninformed. So along with Michelle being a man, she is now leaving Obama cause she is mad at him and has been mad for years, and now that her gravy train has come to an end she don’t want him no more!! WTH?
There has to be 10 thousand videos on this topic and now mine will be 10 thousand and one because it just has to be said and somebody has to say it!

Listen folks, if you all want to believe, say and parrot that the Obama’s was a fake family and that everything about them was fake, do you think that they got into the white House without the support of the Alphabet Agencies? How were they able to pull off all the fakery without getting exposed all the way to the white house?
Isn’t it obvious that they had some “friends” in high places, and just like the media was complicit in covering up Hillary’s crimes, the same media was just as complicit in covering up Obama’s.
What gets me about you people, with all this conjecture, is you only look at the surface issues. You seldom go beneath the surface and ask the hard questions. Like, who financed Obama into the campaign for the White House? A man hardly known, with little experience and a very mysterious background, yet he was elected President? Why and  how did that happen?
You people keep voting these folks in then you shit on them when they don’t follow suit with your preconceived notions of what and how they should be.
Why do you even vote at all, why do you waste your time voting and then spend countless  hours complaining and finding fault with the person you voted for.
Obama did not get into the white  house without some help from some very high or should I say “low” places. Those are the culprits you should be going after. Not the Puppet, Go after the Puppeteers and hold them to account.
How many times have we seen arranged marriages in hollyweird, in sports and in politics. Even in the churches, folks do stuff for show and behind the scenes they are doing something else. Have you forgotten about the “Bush Jr.” parties at the white house, or the womanizing that JFK did on his wife?
It amazes me how you guys can go on and on and on about the Obama’s and yet never look back into history to see how THEY ALL DO THAT SHIT!! I don’t want to say that you all are just singling him out because you are racists, so let me just say that you guys are the most uninformed bunch of folks about how this corrupt government functions and if you even think that Trump is gonna be any better, well, like I said before and I will say it again, he is the period at the end of the sentence.
Also, keep in mind that when you make deals with the “Shadow Government” they do promise you a rose garden. Look at how rich the Clinton’s got “after” they left the White House. Hmmmmmmm.
So, you all belly aching about how much money she ain’t gonna be able to spend after she leaves the white house, please.. She will be well taken care of and so will Barack, they played that game all too well and they know too much about the inside of the creepy place called Capital Hill, and they do not need them to turn whistle blower, and have to kill them off and surely cause a stink. So they will keep them nice and comfy until they are of no use to them anymore just like they did the Clinton’s.
You folks really make me laugh at how gullible and uninformed you all are about the very thing that you have to live and suffer under each and every day.
WAKE UP PEOPLE, THIS IS NOT KANSAS! THIS SHIT IS FUCKED!
This is a prison planet and it’s time to get out before it’s too late.

I guess when you elevate a person to the position of “God-lebrity” then you feel justified to tear them down because you realize they are only there because you put them there.

VIDEOS
Obama DIVORCE Happening NOW? (Breakup Of Michelle’s Fake Marriage)
Michelle Obama filing for DIVORCE 2017
Links:

‘Michelle would divorce me!’ Obama on why he would not run for third term as president
http://www.express.co.uk/news/politics/725103/president-obama-michelle-divorce-third-term
Obama’s Marriage In 2017: The ‘D’-Word!
http://www.thepoliticalinsider.com/shock-massive-bombshell-obamas-marriage-2017-d-word/ 
Obama’s image has been carefully crafted since even before his ghostwritten autobiographies. Valerie Jarrett and David Axelrod have cautiously protected this image, which is why a divorce isn’t allowed to happen while Obama remains in the White House. But it appears their marriage is quickly dissolving, and we will all know the truth soon
http://www.thepoliticalinsider.com/shock-massive-bombshell-obamas-marriage-2017-d-word/
A controversial biography of President Obama made waves in May 2012 by claiming that Michelle Obama considered divorcing her politician husband years before he ran for president. A White House spokesman quickly dismissed the allegations as “nonsense,” but not before the Internet broke out with criticism and speculation.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/08/16/obama-divorce-five-other-_n_1528496.html
But is it true? The unauthorized biography, which Klein claims is based on nearly 200 interviews, has been dismissed by presidential spokesperson Eric Schultz. On Monday, Schultz told the Washington Examiner, “Ed Klein has a proven history of reckless fabrication in order to sell books. Nobody in their right mind would believe the nonsense in this one.”
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/17/obama-divorce-new-biography-_n_1525671.html
According to the book, Michelle told France’s first lady Carla Bruni Sarkozy, 41, that she absolutely detests her role as America’s first lady, blasting it as “hell,” and admitting: “I can’t stand it!”
During the Obama’s quarrel, “Michelle collapsed in tears and even threatened to divorce Barack if he seeks a second term as president,” a source in the nation’s capital told The ENQUIRER.
“At one point, Michelle was heard yelling, ‘I hate you for dragging me through all this…I’ve had enough!’”
http://www.nationalenquirer.com/celebrity/michelle-obama-ive-had-enough/

FIRST FAMILY FEUD!
Barack & Michelle Obama’s Marriage Meltdown — How It’s Costing Taxpayers Millions!
By J.R. Taylor Posted on Mar 31, 2016 @ 11:20AM
http://www.nationalenquirer.com/photos/barack-michelle-obama-divorce-secrets-scandals/
Meanwhile, there were rumours that things are not what they appear between the president and the First Lady of America. According to National Enquirer, the First Lady has gained around 100 pounds in the past few months, which has led to issues in her marriage.
http://www.morningnewsusa.com/barack-michelle-obama-divorce-red-flags-brad-pitt-angelina-jolie-split-23106687.html
However, according to a report by the Gossip Cop, the news is a hoax and that the couple is still going strong. According to a White House insider, there is no marital problem between the president and the First Lady, and that Obama did not ask his wife to lose weight.
http://www.morningnewsusa.com/barack-michelle-obama-divorce-red-flags-brad-pitt-angelina-jolie-split-23106687.html
Who would have thought that Michelle Obama and US President Barack Obama will eventually face a marital problem after all the years of publicly showing off their affection to each other? Are they just faking it or not?
According to a tabloid magazine, National Enquirer, Michelle Obama is outrage with her husband Barack Obama that leads her to declaring that she “wanted out” of his life.
http://www.gamenguide.com/articles/80199/20161202/michelle-calls-barack-obama-loser-and-idiot-president-fires-back-with-divorce.htm
Michelle Obama just filed for DIVORCE – According to reports around World
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ot9vbGIMzDE
Michelle Obama just filed for DIVORCE – According to Reports! – 2017
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nsKKNhW_eDc
Will Barack and Michelle Obama get a divorce after he leaves office?
This is a serious question, as there have been multiple reports, especially in the foreign media, that their marriage is on the rocks. In the US, the main source is the National Enquirer. However, keep in mind that the National Enquirer is more often than not right about such kinds of things. It was certainly right about Edwards’ affair and child, even though the national press in the US denied it.
https://www.quora.com/Will-Barack-and-Michelle-Obama-get-a-divorce-after-he-leaves-office
Dan Holliday, works at Recruiting
Written Jan 30, 2014
There simply isn’t any evidence that the Obamas have a struggling marriage.  It’s certainly possible that they do, and it’s certainly possible that they’ll split up, just as it’s possible that any couple will divorce at some point in the future.  But based on the real evidence that we have, there is no reason to conclude that the First Couple are struggling in their marriage right now.
Also, did you just quote the National Enquirer?  Wow.
https://www.quora.com/Will-Barack-and-Michelle-Obama-get-a-divorce-after-he-leaves-office
Joe Willmore
Written Sep 3, 2015
Hmmm…”the National Enquirer is more often than not right…”

These are headlines from previous National Enquirers:
–“Members of Congress are Aliens”
–“Alien Bible Found”
–“Town in Panic Over 2,000 UFO Sightings”
–“Secret Service Say Bush Uses Cocaine”
–“Philip Seymour Hoffman:  Hidden Gay Life” (they lost a libel suit over that one)
–Or there’s the classic case where Carol Burnet sued over an article claiming she was intoxicated when meeting Henry Kissinger.
–Or the settlements with Cher.  Or Elizabeth Taylor (two of them).
–Or the claim that a stripper was having an affair with George W. Bush when he was in the WH and that his wife was going to divorce him (gee, I guess they made up).

I can’t predict the future.  But I have seen no evidence indicating that there is marital discord between the Obamas.  They actually seem to have a health marriage.  And they actually seem to have done a pretty good job of raising two young daughters in the WH fishbowl.

https://www.quora.com/Will-Barack-and-Michelle-Obama-get-a-divorce-after-he-leaves-office
By Susan Duclos

Rumors of affairs, with males and females, surround Barack Obama and the icing on the cake according to multiple sources and pushed by the National Enquirer, was Barack’s over-the-top blatant flirting with Denmark’s prime minister, Helle Thorning-Schmidt, in South Africa for the memorial service for Nelson Mandela, going as far as taking a “selfie” with her while Michelle sat to the side looking angered at his antics.
http://www.americancrisis.us/Article.php?ID=459546&R=2&
Not for the first time in their 22-year marriage the Obamas are approaching what should be a happy family milestone under a cloud of rampant tabloid innuendo, summed up by a National Enquirer headline: “World exclusive: Obama marriage explodes!”.
https://www.conservativeoutfitters.com/blogs/news/11522385-foreign-press-reporting-obama-marriage-problems-and-rumors
OBAMA FAMILY CRISIS: BARACK OBAMA AND MICHELLE SET TO DIVORCE
January 19, 2014 · by Abdikarim Hussein · in News, People, Society. 
For the past couple of weeks, the National Enquirer has been publishing prominent  stories claiming that the marriage of President and Mrs. Obama is in deep trouble, and that after his term in office is over, she will file divorce papers
https://krazyinsidekenya.wordpress.com/2014/01/19/obama-family-crisis-barack-obama-and-michelle-set-to-divorce/
On the other hand,’ Hamada added, ‘if you get his wife to talk, she’ll tell you: “The president is a pathological philanderer. He uses the Secret Service for this, and has used them to hide evidence that he’s a cheater”.’
Some of Hamada’s claims appear to closely mirror a January report from the National Enquirer.
The tabloid reported in January that the Obamas are sleeping in separate bedrooms and have determined that the president will return to Hawaii in January 2017, while Mrs. Obama and their daughters will remain in Washington, D.C.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2611563/The-Obamas-failed-marriage-looming-divorce-open-secret-claims-member-Japans-parliament-president-using-Secret-Service-hide-affairs.html
The ENQUIRER is reporting that a top notch team of private detectives has compiled a secret file containing incriminating new charges that President Barack Obama has cheated on his wife.
The exclusive report is also saying that a hush-hush divorce dossier has been gathered for first lady Michelle Obama, giving her the ammunition she needs to pull the plug on their 21-year marriage when Obama leaves the White House in 2017.
http://josephebongie.blogspot.com/2014/06/michelle-secret-divorce-file-on-obama.html#.WJPo647QeU0
Michelle Obama Asks Barack for a Divorce: Are the Affair Rumors True?
Gurus Channel3 weeks ago (edited)
21 boss this is a parody. we are well aware of how much they love each other, that’s why we made something as ridiculous as this. We didn’t think that was hard to recognize.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=axfoD8AVh4U


The Washington Child Sex Ring Cover-up
The Franklin Child Sex Ring Implicating the Bush Whitehouse!
http://www.jesus-is-savior.com/Evils%20in%20Government/boys_town_abuse.htm
How many Americans would have thought this family worthy of election to so many high offices, if the mainstream media had not continued for generations to HIDE the horrible story of how the George Herbert Walker Bush family “earned” much of its wealth and power, i.e. by serving as the principal bankrollers in America of Adolf Hitler and his ” National Socialist Party”, both in its rise to power,  and even after World War II was declared, with NAZI Germany on one side, and America on the other?
http://liberalslikechrist.org/+Reasonable/BushFamily.html


Hiding In Plain Sight: The Global Pedophile Ring Exposed
http://anonhq.com/hiding-plain-sight-global-pedophile-ring-exposed/
THE WOMAN (LEOLA McCONNELL) WHO BROKE THE STORY OF PRESIDENT GEORGE BUSH’S HOMOSEXUAL/PEDOPHILE LIFESTYLE IS MISSING AND SUSPECTED MURDERED!
http://theconspiracyzone.podcastpeople.com/posts/26837
Download this video.
http://www.edwardsdavid.com/BushVideos/dail_show_gannon_bloggers_long_050217-01.rm
Texas county Republican calls President George H.W. Bush a “longtime homosexual pedophile”
Morrow has also suggested that Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, George W. Bush and Karl Rove are either all gay or bisexual
        By John Riley on March 10, 2016 @JohnAndresRiley
http://www.metroweekly.com/2016/03/texas-county-republican-calls-president-george-h-w-bush-a-longtime-homosexual-pedophile/
Reporters to Meet with White House on Credentialing
February 14, 2005  By: Joe Strupp
http://www.editorandpublisher.com/news/reporters-to-meet-with-white-house-on-credentialing/

Mysterious Islamic Tribe Where Women Have Sex With Different Men

Mysterious Islamic Tribe Where Women Have Sex With Different Men, Don’t Wear A Veil And Own Property

 
Behind the ancient way of life for the Tuareg tribe of the Sahara is a culture so progressive it would even make some in liberal western cultures blush.
Women are allowed to have multiple sexual partners outside of marriage, keep all their property on divorce and are so revered by their sons-in-law that the young men wouldn’t dare eat in the same room.
What is even more surprising is that even though the tribe has embraced Islam they have firmly held onto some of the customs that would not be acceptable to the wider Muslim world.
It is the men, and not the women, who cover their faces, for example.
Photographer Henrietta Butler, who has been fascinated by the Tuareg since she first followed them through the desert in 2001, once asked why this was. The explanation was simple.
‘The women are beautiful. We would like to see their faces.’
But this is certainly not the only place the Tuareg, related to the Berbers of North Africa, differ from the Muslim world of the Middle East, and even other parts of their own continent.
Before a woman marries, she is free to take as many lovers as she wants.
These two children were pictured in December 1967. Tuareg children traditionally stay with their mothers after a divorce

‘They turn a blind eye,’ explained Butler. ‘The young girls have the same great freedoms as the boys.’
For years, the men of the Tuareg have been able to ride to a young woman’s tent, and sneak into the side entrance – while his well-trained camel stands quietly and waits.
There, they will spend the night together – while the family, who all live in the tent, politely pretend not to notice.
Should the woman choose to welcome a different man into her tent the next day, so be it.
However, there is also a code of practice which none would dare break. Privacy is all important for this centuries old tribe of nomads, who once crossed the desert bringing dates, salt and saffron south, and slaves and gold north.
The idea of breaking the rules of courtship would be mortifying; as a result, the man is always gone before sunrise.
‘The Tuareg are utterly discreet. Everything is done with utmost discretion and respect,’ said Butler.
The relaxed customs around sexual partners has resulted in the girls getting married later than they may otherwise do, with the age of 20 not being uncommon.
Although, before then, they will have been wooed with poetry written by the men, who spend hours carefully crafting the words which they hope will win their beloved over.
But it is not a one-way street: the women are just as capable of putting pen to paper, using their own alphabet, taught to them by their mothers.
‘The women also make poetry eulogizing the men,’ says Butler. ‘There is high romance and idolatry.’
Unlike in so many other cultures, women lose none of their power once they marry either. Many marriages end in divorce among the Tuareg. And when it happens, it is the wife who keeps both the animals and the tent. And it is she who normally decides that she’s had enough. 

His wife, meanwhile, will keep possession of everything she brought to the marriage and that includes the children.
The mother’s camp, Butler explains, is the root of the community, the home everyone returns to – and this arrangement ensures it stays that way.
And there is no shame in divorce. Families will often throw their daughters a divorce party, to let other men know they are available once more.
But this is not a matriarchal society, where the women are in charge. 
 Butler explains it is still the men ‘who sit and talk politics’. But even here, the women can be deferred to. They are often consulted for their views by their sons or husbands, and are quietly pulling the strings behind the scenes.  
However, Tuareg society is matri-lineal, which means the families trace their lines through the women, rather than the men, right the way back to their first queen.
So, Butler explained: ‘Traditionally, the man would belong to the woman’s group, rather than the other way around.’
The preference for the women’s line goes as far as man leaving his possessions to his sister’s son as it ‘is considered a stronger link to your family than to your own son’.
In other words, it can be guaranteed that your sister’s child belongs to your sister, rather than a man’s son, who cannot be absolutely guaranteed to share his genes. 
 A nomadic Tuareg woman in front of her tent, with younger children sit inside. The mother’s tent is the heart of the family. 
Before young Tuareg women marry, they are allowed to take as many different lovers as they want – as long as they abide by the strict rules of privacy which govern their society.
This means the man must only arrive at her tent after dark, and leave before sunrise. Pictured: A Tuareg woman’s decorated hands.
But there is one tradition which is certainly far more unusual: it is highly rude for a man to eat in front of a woman who he cannot have sexual relations with, or any of his elders.
In front of his mother-in-law it is especially shameful.
‘I didn’t realise this until the I was having dinner with a Tuareg woman, who had brought her son-in-law as her travelling companion,’ Butler recalled.
‘We were all sitting down to dinner, and the man has his back turned. She said the poor man was completely horrified because he has to eat with his mother-in-law.’
But it is unlikely he would have ever complained about it, or felt sorry from himself. The very idea is horrendous to the Tuareg.
‘You would shame yourself. The Tuareg will go to great lengths to maintain personal dignity. They will suffer,’ said Butler.
‘If they are not offered water, they won’t ask for it – even if they are thirsty.’
Perhaps for this reason, the Tuareg welcome is legendary. They never forget to offer water, and travelers who appear on the horizon will always be ‘treated like a king’. 
Every night, the families come together at the tents. The men are traditionally part of the women’s group – not the other way round.
  
  It means the mother’s tent is the heart of the community – although they do not eat together, and do much separately. 
It is the men who cover up their faces, while the women are happy to show off their faces – although they often cover their hair
The camels are of vital importance in the Sahara, and are often the only thing a man is left with when he gets divorced
 
A Tuareg man in a traditional indigo veil, which is likely to leave his face with a blue mark across his skin
THE LEGENDARY QUEEN AT THE TOP OF THE TUAREG FAMILY TREE
The Tuareg’s many small groups are joined together by the same family tree – and at the top of that tree is the person who bought them all together.
And it should probably come as no surprise for a tribe which views women in such regard, that person was a queen.  
Tin Hinan is said to have traveled south from modern day Morocco to what would one day become Algeria in the fourth century, where she became the first queen of the Tuaregs.It is from Tin Hinan – whose name translates as ‘she of the tents’ – that every noble family is said to descend.
Takamet, her handmaiden who traveled by her side, is believed to be the ancestor of the peasant caste. It is unlikely there will be any quibbling over who gets what. Pre-nuptial agreements are the norm. In practice, this often means a man is forced to return home to his mother, possibly with just his camel and nothing else.
Now the Tuareg living in south-western Libya face a new threat – that of ISIS – while those living in Mali, Niger and northern Nigeria now have to contend with the rise of Boko Haram.
The Tuareg women, seen here arriving at the Tuareg Political Party speech in 2006, may not obviously be part of political life, but their opinion is highly valued by the men, who will likely discuss issues with their mother or wife.

Polygamy Is NOT The Solution For Black America?

Polygamy Is NOT The Solution For Black America?

NB Commentary: Let me preface my commentary with these words, yes, my commentary is biased, yes, it may have even been a little bit emotional, and yes, I may have been a little curt if not with a tinge of anger, but sometimes when someone gets on YouTube and provides “disinformation” as if they are an expert on a subject they are talking about… well it just rubs me. It is a particular rub for me in this case as this is a subject that I have explored, studied, understood it pros and cons across cultures, etc. So, jump into this opinion piece with that in mind. Nana is on a roll in this one.

To the narrator of this video, first of all, I do not know where you are getting your facts about the so-called down side of polygamy (polygyny = one man, many wives) and I feel that if you have statistics then you should present them.

Secondly, I am offended by your gross generalization of the so-called backwards African societies that practice polygamy. I am also offended that you think that women are so petty that they have no clue of what it means to build a nation, or that building a nation means having many children. These women are not that naive that they don’t realize that nation building will take a long time with just one wife. To these people polygamy is not a matter of how much sex a man can have but how many children a man can help to produce and quite frankly getting pregnant does not require a lot of sex. It is the Western world with its suppression of the naked body that brought down shame on the indigenous people who were quite comfortable with their style of dress. Sexual implications based on what someone had on was not as overt as it has become in western hypocritically puritanical cultures.
If you want to point out backwardness of polygamous societies, then what about Saudi Arabia, The United Arab republic, Qatar, Sudan, Iran, India and others. These are predominately Islamic societies where Polygamy is practiced and they have booming cultures, technology and educational systems. None of which are “backwards” as you would define it.
I find your statement about African societies where polygamy occurs, and defined by you as backwards, to be quite disingenuous and falling way short of any valid study, survey or actual living in these cultures that you call backwards. The fact that you omit the ancient history of African Cultures, the Songhai Empire, the Mali Empire, the Great Kings and Queens who came out of Africa during ancient times and from a culture where polygamy was the norm shows the limit of your knowledge on this topic.
You fail to mention the impact of the European hypocritical influence on indigenous African culture and the imposition of hypocritical Western ideologies upon the African experience. You even fail to mention the irony of these so called Christians whose early prophets were all polygamous.
Your protestations are ill-founded even to this day when you do not understand the mechanism of the customs and culture of the society where polygamy is intrinsic to it. The in-fighting that you speak of hardly had to do with who was married to whom, and particularly, since natural selection had more women than men being in the world, then it is most advantageous for the women to be absorbed into a household or family unit, rather than having them left out.
And what if the wife is barren through no fault of her own, should her husband go with out having a progeny because his only wife cannot bare him children?

In strong societies where polygamy is the norm, many customs support it and encourage the family unit to work as a whole. The women and children are seen as resources and they help to build the community, take care of the children, teach and pass on the customs. The women are as industrious as the men and have markets, stores, farms and trading that increases the wealth of the family unit and community.

When many of the wars and strife were started, believe me, it was not over woman and who had the best looking women or pick of the crop. It was over resources, land, politics and hegemony. It was the male desire to fight and conquer his competition which quite frankly, was not another woman but what her husband had. Wars are socio-economical-political ventures that take place between warring tribes all over the planet. And it is modern society with its monogamy that has had the absolute worse wars of aggression against each other while you, and many others, consider Western society civilized.

I find your entire video disingenuous, insulting, linear in its presentation, and absent of the true facts and/or understanding of indigenous cultures and the how and why they participate in polygamy.

If you believe it is not a viable option for Western men and women, I have to agree because the culture is not designed to support that type of marital relationship. Western cultures are selfish, self-centered, narcissistic and pathological. They have abandoned the extended family for the nuclear one and have isolated themselves through individualism and personal ownership, thus creating a cesspool of fear, insecurity, paranoia, co-dependency and toxic relationships which according to the latest statistics, leads to 50% of marriages end in divorce.

There are a vast array of issues, concepts, nuances of indigenous cultures that you have blatantly ignored, therefore your conclusions, based on YOUR FACTS, can only be skewed and distorted. Western cultures create laws and regulations to manage their societies thus forcing people into unnatural relationship roles that sour, end, and foster mental health issues for all involved.
You do have the right to your opinion, but I think that if you are going to take on a subject such as polygamy, you either need to do better research or refrain from stating that cultures who practice it are backwards because that is patently incorrect, Sir.

ADDENDUM: The most ironic thing of all is that those countries that prohibit multiple spouses will punish the participants with jail time, a fine or both. That is to say, that it is criminal to have more than one spouse in some countries. How is that even a criminal offense? Who are you hurting when all parties agree? Civilization at its finest.

Polygamy In Africa
Polygyny and polyandry around the world[edit]
In most of the following examples, polygamy only refers to polygyny. Except when polyandry is explicitly stated, either all kinds of polygamy are forbidden, or the only allowed form of polygamy is polygyny.
Africa[edit]
Mayotte: Considered to be de facto illegal since a referendum sponsored by France in March 2009, forcing the island to comply with the French laws.[19][20]However, pre-existing Muslim marriages are currently still valid.
Benin: Benin recognized polygamous marriages until 2004 when they were constitutionally outlawed. However, pre-existing marriages are currently still valid in Benin.[21]
Burkina Faso: Both Muslims and non-Muslims can join in polygamous unions under Burkina Faso law.
Côte d’Ivoire: Akin to the situation in Benin, polygamy and such marriages were outlawed, though previous marriages are still recognized.[22]
Gabon: Both men and women can join in polygamous unions with the other gender under Gabonese law, although in practice only men do.
Ghana: Illegal under civil law, but recognized under customary law and Sharia law.
Nigeria: Recognized in all northern sharia states, federal law recognizes polygamous unions under customary law.
South Africa: Legal under customary law, and recognized for civil purposes in terms of the Recognition of Customary Marriages Act.
Kenya: Polygyny legal under legislation passed in 2014.[23]

Ask Nana: "Should I Stay In An Abusive Marriage With My Children’s Mother"

“Should I Stay In An Abusive Marriage With My Children’s Mother”


NB Commentary: Great video and great advice. Kudos to Lenon Honor and his wife, Aida.  I can confer as a Mental Health Professional for many years and also from my own experience. One thing that is missing in this presentation is the focus on the female in this relationship. Why is she so angry? Of course he obviously does not know or cannot see what it is that has made her so angry, but it could be a number of things. She may have come from a very angry household and he may have come from an abusive household which we all know, one sickness feeds the other.


https://youtu.be/_331rK8-oWQ

But even on a deeper level, how many people take the time to notice what childbirth does to the female, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically? It seems from what has been mentioned here that she has had a succession of childbirths, one after the other. Why? Religion? Family pressures? Economics? What and why did she have 4 children in such a short time span? Could she possibly be overwhelmed with the amount of work that it took and continues to take to care for the everyday needs of her children? How much help does he offer to make this a lighter burden? Are they able to get assistance from family/friends or maybe a nanny from time to time?
What I am pointing to is all too often people jump into marriages and have children when they were not prepared for marriage what it means to be a marriage partner and much less prepared for the day to day routine of childrearing and I mean healthy creative childrearing where two partners, family and even friends agree. How often do we find ourselves isolated due to the questions around how we are rearing our children? How often do family, friends, co-workers, and even associates question and judge the way we rear our children? What if there is a chasm in the way these two individuals parent within the household.
Women need to take more control over their lives and their bodies. Being a baby machine does not offer the comfort, security, peace and support that is portrayed by the high rollers and celebrities. Without support from a caring and nurturing family, friends etc. a woman can feel so isolated and alone. She may even be angry with and at her situation that she has all these children and little support.
Women need to take time to get to know what their strengths and weaknesses are before they even get married, as well as know what a healthy relationship looks like and what healthy creative parenting looks like. There are so many nuances to this story and the man who wrote this letter to you sounds like a classic victim. But victims are often passive aggressive and that is how they fight back when they are feeling victimized and/or dominated by the other person in the relationship.
Again, I have to go back to how pregnancy changes a woman in every way, and each pregnancy brings new and sometimes strange changes. She never goes back to being her old self, or the self she knew before she had the children. She may lose weight or even fit back into her clothing, but really and truly, she changes. So the question of “what changed” may be that “she changed” and that she changed more and more after each pregnancy. If she did not have the mental, spiritual, emotional and physical support to help her understand her changes then it is most probably that she wrap that “neglect” into anger and began to do what she knew how and that was lash out. She sounds like she is very, very angry. She is angry with her own life. She may have been living a lie for far too long. She wants out but then what? What man is going to marry her with 4 children? She may feel so lost, isolated, devastated, out of control, out of touch with her reality, deeply saddened and hurt that she is in her predicament, that all she can do is lash out to gain some control over her situation.
This sounds like a very convoluted situation with more nuances than I am sure, this young man can address or even fathom. It is a long unaddressed situation that has spiraled to the point where no one is hearing anyone, everyone is desperate, needy, hurt, overwhelmed and out of alignment on so many levels. With that being said, saving the marriage may be the least of their worries, saving their individual beigness may be an even bigger challenge, but one that needs to be addressed so that they can move forward as healthy human beings. Because like second hand smoke can be just as deadly, so can second hand toxicity stemming from past unresolved relationships can lead to a string of hurtful, unhealthy relationships for both in the future.
My suggestions…….

GET INDIVIDUAL COUNSELING BEFORE YOU DO ANYTHING!

This Same Sex Marriage Law Contraversy Is So Overrated

They Say That Promoting/Protecting or Approving of the Gay Lifestyle (agenda) Will……..

1. Make everybody go gay.

Where is the proof that if the gay lifestyle is accepted that it will turn everyone gay? If it is to say it is a choice then who would choose it once it’s acceptable but folks who already had the tendencies? Does every one carry the “gay” gene that can be activated the moment same sex marriages are lawful?

2. Cause mass genocide cause same sex folks can’t have children.

If it’s gonna cause mass genocide.. how come there are so many people in the world. 7 billion and……..  Here we have the genocide issue again. Come on there a plenty of openly gay folks in the black community who have children and grand children and great grand children.. Not to mention how many other folks have children. Even the “white” proponents of the gay lifestyle have children. Besides, if everyone turned gay, it would take centuries to wipe out the human race, because, seriously, every body ain’t straight gay, there are some bisexuals and some transsexuals who have children. There are sperm banks and plenty of donors. Unless men are gonna stop producing sperm, there will always be that slight chance of somebody somewhere getting pregnant.

counting? Is the fear that so many people will turn gay and stop making babies? Hmm, that’s interesting since many gay folks do have children and adopt children, and the birth rate is going down already for everyone except the “Mexicans” but seriously.. 7 billion people will just stop producing once same sex relationships are acceptable? That’s 7 billion people will all turn gay then lose their desire to procreate because they are gay?

3. It is an attack on the Black race cause it’s a norm for “them”.

Okay, I can see how racism, police brutality, poverty, poor education in black neighborhoods, disproportionate imprisonment, marginal hiring, discrimination, cessation of funding for programs that improve the life of Black Folk, slavery, lynching, etc. etc, etc. as an attack on the Black race, but how does someone being gay do it? How is accepting the gay life style comparable to any of the above mentioned? Better yet, explain how it does damage to the Black community in particular without any generalizations. Does it cause a kind of disease that only Gay people have? Does it make people become more criminal? Would it make more people want to bear arms (I had to throw that one in there). Are gay people more racist? Will police brutality be meeted out under the direction of “Gay” police officers? Just a few of my questions on this notion of an “attack on the Black Race.”

4. It is against God and His word!

Well, since I am not a biblical scholar, I am not going to touch that one with a 10 foot pole except to say, that a I heard about a lot of things that are written in the Bible that folks do not do today… And some take it so far as to threaten to “kill” them or themselves. Like I said, I am not a biblical scholar, but where does it say you can kill them or commit suicide over them in your “Holy Book”?

This whole paranoia about the Gay life style being acceptable and same sex marriages being the law of the land is so overrated. There are so many more pressing issues to concern ourselves with and be proactive about than to worry about, for lack of sounding cliche, what someone does in their bedroom, or who someone chooses to love or marry.

How about what people are doing to other people’s bedrooms, defiling their home, killing their women and children while lying innocently sleeping in their beds. Let’s look at the child trafficking and child pornography that is happening. Let’s look at how many children go missing every week! Let’s look up at our skies and down on the Earth that we are wreaking havoc with, let’s make the effort to be kind to one another, or at least do unto others as we would have them do unto us.

Again, this same sex distraction is so overrated and so full of fallacious fears and innuendos it’s hard to believe that it is getting so much attention with all else that is going on. But then again, maybe that is the real plan. Distract folks so they won’t think about looking into what is really happening on this Prison Planet Matrix called Earth.

On that note, I’m just saying. These arguments are very, very interesting.

Clarence Thomas: Slavery Didn’t Take Away Dignity So How Can Same-Sex Marriage Bestow It?

Okay, I am probably gonna get some flack for this comment but…. I kinda see his point. If a government can give you dignity, it can take it away. I think he is saying that human dignity is not for sale or barter. That if people believe that their dignity is arbitrary, then anyone can deny it or determine it.

With the perception of knowing who you are, no matter what anyone says or does to you, you are assured within yourself than no one, can take your human dignity away from you. I have to say that that point to me is very powerful and may be missed because he is talking against marriage equality. I believe that is how Africans survived through slavery, that is how any oppressed people survive, i.e., the Muslims in the Middle East who are so outrageously demonized. They still hole their heads up high. I could site so many other examples but suffice it to say, human dignity is not an arbitrary construct of someone’s imagination that can be imposed on another, unless….. the other accepts it and thus gives up their personal power and self determination.

Once a person believes that someone else can take their human dignity away, they whither and die. Only the strong survive, despite the odds, and I think that is the real message of his statement.

No government, person place or thing should have that much power over how someone feels dignified. I understand how a system can attempt to belittle, downgrade, even demoralize another so called “inferior” but a man is as  he thinketh. If he believes he has no dignity then no one can give it to him or take it away. He is simply unaware of who he is and therefore is susceptible to viewing himself through the lens of his oppressor.

I have always said that LGBT folks who want to get married should just do that without having to beg to be recognized by the government. There are various ways that it can be done, through contracts, notarized documents and various other steps that can be taken. There were and are always someone who will marry you, and if you can’t find that someone, marry yourself. There is always a way to get around it.

Societies have socialized and institutionalized marriage around the world. They see marriage as a communal act between those who marry and the community they belong to. Over time it has become a system of barter, protocols, laws, restrictions, politics and bellicose religious indictments.  It seldom becomes a personal matter between persons but rather a socio-economic and political statement about what and who you are. Because human beings are socialized into believing they must be accepted by their communities, families, churches and other religious institutions, they go through the rituals that in some instances have nothing at all to do with how they feel on the inside. Marriages have gone from being partnerships and dedication to having property and the value, worth and status that comes with it. As a result, people want to be “acknowledge”. And in this case, do to the social construct of this Nation, the USA, they felt the need to make it to the Supreme Court with their case. 

Actually, marriage is really an arbitrary situation that is deemed to exist between the people who are “married” and not necessarily something that has to be sanctioned by others. What I mean is that there are so many kinds of partnerships that have contributed to the making of families around the world. In fact, polygamy is a more natural construct than the ownership of another that happens in Western style marriages. The spiritual connection that folks feel towards one another is often shrouded in the external, “how to be” in a relationship that often what is truly happening between the souls of individuals gets lost because of the pressures of society. Some people never marry and live together as a devoted couple for years and years, helping and supporting and loving and even baring children together. Are their unions any more worthy than the ones that are “sanctioned” by the larger community? Just think, with all this marriage equality business folks can run out and spend more money on getting married when they could have very well saved that money to build a business together. And then after all that money is spent to please the onlookers, some of these self same marriages end in divorce. Why? Because they were sanctioned or was it because the true connection on the Soul level was “NOT” made and therefore there was no “glue-on” to hold it together to stand the test of time.

Supreme Court Justice Thomas may very well be married to a European woman and some may say that there was a time where he could not have been legally married to her, but does that or did that determine his love or devotion to her??? Obviously not. And I doubt if her being married to him diminished her dignity. Though I am guessing here, it still stands to reason that no one can tell you who you can love or not love, marry or not marry, or at least no one should have that kind of power over your life, and if they do, to me, there is something very wrong with this picture.

All too often people rely upon someone or something to acknowledge their worth and “dignity” instead of knowing who they are and that it matters not, who else knows it. I think the movie “The Green Mile” shows how a man can remained dignified, no matter how he is treated. He knew who he was and what powers he had, he sincerely knew where his heart was and that he was innocent, but he even went to the electric chair with dignity. I believe that is what Judge Thomas is saying. He may not realize it himself but he said it and it makes sense to me.

 

The Green Mile

Clarence Thomas: Slavery Didn’t Take Away Dignity So How Can Same-Sex Marriage Bestow It?

Clarence Thomas is one of the most conservative and one of the most controversial justices currently sitting on the Supreme Court. Justice Scalia gets a lot of attention, in part because his dissents of late have been hyperbolic and bombastic, but Justice Thomas rarely gets much attention.
He deserves a lot more, and not in a good way.
The 67-year old Georgia-born jurist who replaced – of all people, Thurgood Marshall – on the bench, offered a stunning statement in his dissent of the same-sex marriage case.
“Perhaps recognizing that these cases do not actually involve liberty as it has been understood, the majority goes to great lengths to assert that its decision will advance the ‘dignity’ of same-sex couples,” Justice Thomas writes. “The flaw in that reasoning, of course, is that the Constitution contains no ‘dignity’ Clause, and even if it did, the government would be incapable of bestowing dignity.”

“Human dignity has long been understood in this country to be innate. When the Framers proclaimed in the Declaration of Independence that ‘all men are created equal’ and ‘endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights,’ they referred to a vision of mankind in which all humans are created in the image of God and therefore of inherent worth. That vision is the foundation upon which this Nation was built.”
OK, you’re probably thinking, this is nuts, and insensitive, but wait, there’s more.

“The corollary of that principle is that human dignity cannot be taken away by the government. Slaves did not lose their dignity (any more than they lost their humanity) because the government allowed them to be enslaved. Those held in internment camps did not lose their dignity because the government confined them. And those denied governmental benefits certainly do not lose their dignity because the government denies them those benefits. The government cannot bestow dignity, and it cannot take it away.”
Let’s do that again.
“Slaves did not lose their dignity (any more than they lost their humanity) because the government allowed them to be enslaved.”
Is he serious?
Being property, being owned by another person, with absolutely no rights, subjected to violence and rape and starvation and whipping and all sorts of other indignities does not cause one to lose their dignity nor their humanity?
Speaking personally, I have never been a slave, nor confined in an internment camp, but I can imagine how horrific that was.
How is it possible that Justice Thomas cannot?
And, as a gay man who married two years ago, almost to this day, I can without qualification state that my personal dignity was greatly affected – positively – upon becoming a legally married man.
The exact moment my husband and I were pronounced married I was a changed person. My world changed, and yes, it had to do with legal acceptance and validation, and dignity.
Something Justice Thomas, sadly, must not know anything about.
Justice Thomas’ dissent is so vile and offensive, he’s actually right now the number two trending topic, right under #LoveWins:

 

Camille Cosby, Another Victim of Controversy?

To be honest, I was trying to figure out what it was about this whole situation that made me feel a deep sadness withing my self. How can this be? Cosby? A sexual predator? The man who made me laugh throughout my childhood and the same man whom I shared that laughter with my own children? This man?

Well of course we know what happens behind closed doors in Hollywood, it’s no big secret, it ain’t even a conspiracy theory. It’s fact, pure and simple. Men prey on women, women prey on men, and let’s not forget what happens to the under aged youth who end up in this mess. But something about this made me feel a deep sadness and this article, see below, helped me get it. It’s Camille.

Dr. Camille Cosby

She is such a beautiful person. Why do I say that? How do I know? Because my group, the “Voices Of Africa” Choral and Percussion Ensemble performed at their daughter’s Erinn’s wedding at their beautiful Elkins Park Estate. That’s how I know. It was Camille who made it a beautiful experience for all of us. She was gracious, loving and kind and through it all, as it was shortly after their son, Ennis, death.

VOA @ Errin Cosby’s Wedding, circa 1998

She was radiant and absolutely breathtaking in her appearance and demeanor and despite all the legal papers we had to sign swearing us to secrecy that we would not breath a word of it, or tell even our closest friends that we were there, she made sure we were featured in the middle section of the Jet Magazine. That was Camille. And after that she supported us with donations so that we could go to Ghana, West Africa! How do I know that? She hugged me and I felt her.

But I must agree with this writer, quiet as it’s kept, while it may be the end of the road for Cosby’s career, it’s the end of the road for the life of denial that she lived for 50 years. How does one so beautiful, so poised and so committed to her family and husband live a lie for 50 years and survive it?

Too often in cased of child molestation, sexual assault and sexual indiscretions perpetrated by the men, and even women in this society, the person who is most hurt and most traumatized by it is the wife, spouse or partner of the accused. Particularly, if they are the public face of the perpetrator. How do they look themselves in the mirror, day after day, month after month, year after year counting on to 50 years???

What has to be the deepest incessant turmoil that goes on in the family for a woman, spouse or partner that decides to stay despite it all? Can that destructive pain and denial have a face other than sheer goulish nightmarish horror? Where do they put their true feelings, their true face, their true rage?

Who can have any semblance of trust ever again for a spouse or partner who completely humiliates you before the eyes of the entire world? A secret that is guarded by them that is not a secret at all, but a blatant slap in the face and a devastating assault on all that you may describe as integrity?

Coming up from under this shroud may be the best thing to happen for Camille or maybe the worst. Today we have Social Media. It can take a tiny grain of sand and transform it into a meteor hurling through space to strike and destroy the entire earth! In a heartbeat, even the most pristine of public images can be tarnish beyond repair. With Social Media, even Camille can no longer be in denial of what has been happening in and to her life for 50years.

Was there anything that she could gain from being by the side of this man, Cosby? Why did she stay after she learned of the first discretion and affront to familial trust? She was young, inexperienced, a mother of five and eventhough she eventually acquired her own stature by going to college and getting a PhD, she discarded, only on some levels, Cosby Shadow, and carried her own. In fact, she adorned her own in the glamor of her own beauty, poise and grace. She hid behind her own wall.

Camille is and was no slouch. She had gained her own place in the sun and it was quite clear while we were in their presence who ran the show around there. She conducted every thing. She managed everything. She made everything happen. But, she did not step outside of the boundaries to decry, how painfully insensitive and dibilitating Cosby’s behavior was. We felt it, there was a war going on. The undercurrent of protestations and rankling was real and quite present. I felt it. Other events insued afterwards that confirmed my intuition about this war that I will not go into, but I could see past the plastic smiles. Having been married myself, I could sense that something was a bit amiss in the Cosby household.

No matter how much lipstick you put on a pig, it’s still gonna be a pig. And now, the clearing, the cleansing and the erasing has begun. My heart breaks for Camille. She did that for 50 years and unlike nowadays where we have these celebs with open marriages or consecutive marriages, we are looking at a woman who came up in a time where marriage was a sacred union, till death do you part, even if the marriage itself is a death sentence.

A beautiful flower, plucked from the garden and placed in a plastic sheeting to last, for all to see. My Beloved Camille, may you find your true voice and your true love, YOU!

Camille Cosby, another victim of controversy? (Opinion) – CNN.com

Editor’s note: Blue Telusma is a Washington-based writer for theGrio.com, an online venue devoted to perspectives that affect and reflect the African-American community. Follow @theGrio on Twitter or like it on Facebook. The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of the author. Follow her on Twitter.

(CNN) — Camille Olivia Hanks was studying at the University of Maryland when she met Bill Cosby in the early ’60s. He was doing stand-up comedy in Washington when the two were set up on a blind
date. They fell in love and she left school to support his burgeoning career in entertainment.

By 1964, the two were married and they would go on to have five children together. In 1997, their son Ennis (who inspired the character Theo Huxtable) was murdered, and a few years later Dr. Camille Cosby did a one-on-one with Oprah explaining how she’d eventually been able to find joy after mourning the loss of a child.

Throughout that interview it was so clear that you were looking at the real-life Clair Huxtable that even Oprah seemed a bit star-struck by her poise and grace.

During her 2000 appearance on Oprah, Camille revealed:
“I became keenly aware of myself in my mid-thirties. I went through a transition. I decided to go back to school, because I had dropped out of college to marry Bill when I was 19. I had five children, and I decided to go back. I didn’t feel fulfilled educationally. I dropped out of school at the end of my sophomore year. So I went back, and when I did, my self-esteem grew. I got my master’s, then decided to get my doctoral degree. Education helped me to come out of myself.”

When asked why she wasn’t content to just settle for being the wife of a famous entertainer she continued:
“I don’t know exactly what it was, except that for me, integrity is important. For me friendships are important, family is important, and it is a blessing if we can have monetary benefits. That’s wonderful, and I love it. But I have to have the security of people who really care about me, and me about them. I want to be surrounded by people who have integrity. And, of course, my name is Camille, not Bill.”

That was a beautiful answer. But a lot has changed since then. These days, Camille Cosby is standing alongside her husband during what may turn out to be the worst month of his long career.

For the last few weeks, the beloved TV dad who used to sell us Jell-O pudding pops has been at the center of an ever-growing scandal. He has canceled several appearances, Netflix has postponed the launch of his stand-up special, NBC nixed plans for a new comedy show, and this week Janice Dickinson became the latest woman to make allegations against him; telling E News that he raped her in 1982 after she’d done a stint in rehab.

Cosby is arguably the most successful African-American performer in television history, but this isn’t the first time he has found himself under scrutiny for extramarital affairs.

In his biography, “Cosby: His Life and Times,”  Mark Whitaker makes mention of the legendary comedian’s “roving eye” and even tells an anecdote about how he finally cut back on his womanizing by breaking up with his long-time girlfriend. Now it seems those softball admissions about having a weakness for beautiful women may have been shrouding something much more sinister than an affair.

From thegrio.com: Dear Bill Cosby, heed your own advice and be accountable In the last decade alone, more than a dozen women have accused Cosby of rape or sexual assault. No formal charges have ever been successfully filed, so even with all the media speculation, these claims are technically only allegations. But there is one person in this melee whose anguish is virtually indisputable: his wife, Camille.

So how does a woman like that end up spending 50 years of her life beside a man who is now alleged to be a serial rapist? One can only imagine the embarrassment she must be experiencing through all this. But her dilemma is a lot more common than you may think.

In a world that asks you to be a mother, a wife, a businesswoman and an alluring sexual being, women grapple with finding the balance between respecting themselves and prioritizing their relationships. While many say they would leave a spouse who cheats, experts estimate that approximately 50-75% of couples rocked by an affair stay together.

There are many reasons why some women choose to stay: the fear of being alone, financial dependency, belief that they can alter the behavior of their mate, professional status of their partner, deep emotional investment and family obligations.

It is hard enough to come back from infidelity in private, let alone when you have the added stress of being a public figure. Both Hillary Clinton and Elizabeth Edwards have weathered similar storms with men they devoted their lives to. And one could argue that it is a lose/lose situation for any wife
who finds herself in that position: If you stay, people judge you for not standing up for yourself, and if you leave there is endless speculation about why your marriage failed.

But this isn’t just a simple case of being cheated on. There are some very serious stories coming to the forefront from those who describe Cosby as a sexual predator, who for decades allegedly drugged and violated young women who looked up to him as a mentor.

During one of Cosby’s old routines, he actually jokes about drugging young women.

Coincidentally the set is from his album “It’s True! It’s True!” which was released in 1969, the same year Joan Tarshis claims he drugged and raped her.

We can only speculate on what Camille’s reasons are for staying in her marriage, when she found out about each rape claim, or whether she believes in her husband’s innocence. She’s been stoic and tight-lipped through all this, exuding the unflappable composure that she is known for.

During the Monica Lewinsky scandal, many believed that had Hillary Clinton left her husband, his political career would have collapsed. Hillary Clinton may have well understood that her marriage wasn’t just a union between a man and a woman but a much larger political machine. Perhaps Camille Cosby, who is equally responsible for her husband’s career, feels a similar responsibility to maintaining the legacy and philanthropic institution she and her husband have built together.

Few knew that in the original “Cosby Show” pitch, Bill had planned to have Heathcliff be a limousine driver who was married to a Latina handywoman. Programming executives weren’t too thrilled with that idea, but it was Camille who convinced her husband to go in another direction.

According to another excerpt in Whitaker’s book:
“The producers felt strongly that both [parents on the show] should be college graduates. As Cosby had proved in his stand-up act, the war of wits between parents and children was even funnier if the parents thought of themselves as highly intelligent people.

“Finally, shortly before 1 in the morning, Cosby said the words that made Carsey think that she might be getting someplace: ‘I think my wife would agree with you.’

” ‘You will not be a chauffeur!’ Camille said when he briefed her on the meeting. ‘Why not?’

Cosby asked. ‘Because I’m not going to be a carpenter!’ Camille said.”

That snippet gives a rare glimpse into the type of bond these two have, and also illustrates that Mrs. Cosby has not just been her husband’s muse, but also a trusted adviser who keeps his career on track, behind the scenes.

Sunday when NPR host Scott Simon asked Cosby about the resurfaced rape charges, he was met with a wall of silence. Later on, Simon admitted to CNN that during that awkward moment in the interview, the one thing he couldn’t do was look at Camille.

“I did not look at Mrs. Cosby, and I don’t mind saying I might’ve been a little uncomfortable doing that anyway,” Simon said.

That’s what many find so unsettling about all this: the deafening silence of it all. The same man who has spent years waxing poetic about every social issue under the sun has now fallen completely mute on us, with his equally reticent wife by his side.

The Cosbys’ union remains seemingly stable through half a century of life’s ups and downs, and as someone who respects the institution of marriage I find that commendable. But when does the adage of “stand by your man” go too far?
I’m rooting for black love as much as the next person — but not like this.