The Dark Side of Sara, The Woman I Once Loved
I Dream Short Stories
This is a story of a man who fell in love with a beautiful nurse who had a very dark secret.
In the beginning of this dream I am in this man’s body. Throughout the dream I move to being an observer and back to being in his body.
I am lying in bed as she enters the room and gets into bed beside me. I am totally in love with her. I admire her dedication and commitment to serving people with emotional and physical disabilities. In fact she has one such person living with her whose name is Alice. I also admire her because despite her own health issue which is a chronic pain in her stomach that sometimes cause her to double over, unable to do anything at all, she still insists on carrying for Alice.
Alice is between, 12 and 15 years of age, but it’s hard to tell sometimes with people with developmental issues exactly how old they are, I am just assuming her age at this point.
Each day “Sara” has the consistent routine of getting up, preparing breakfast for Alice, and then taking Alice off to work with her. I found this quite endearing that she would want to keep Alice with her even during the day while she was at work performing her duties as a nurse.
This morning, while she is lying next to me, I decide to propose.
“I want to marry you.” I say.
She asks me why, which I thought was a peculiar question. First off, she was a beautiful blonde hair, handsomely shape young woman, with such a caring heart that who would not want to marry her. Of course, I am not your average tall dark and handsome bloke, but I am dedicated to anyone I love and I wanted to be a part of this woman’s life, forever. A woman who seemed to be so caring, loving and concerned for the well-being of those who are so often forgotten, mistreated, ridiculed and basically treated as less than human. Sara seemed to have the biggest heart for these people and I could see it in her daily care of Alice. So, to me, her surprise took me aback. Why wouldn’t I want to be intimately a part of her life? Not to mention how her nurturing care extended to me as well.
She responds,
“You want to marry me, but I don’t think you would want to stay married to me, especially not forever.”
What a peculiar response. A response that I quickly ignored and maintained in my mind there could not possibly anything that would or could happen to deter me from wanting to be by her side for the rest of my life.
Chapter 2.
We get up and go down to the kitchen to prepare breakfast for Alice. Sara asks me to ask “Dorothy” another home health aide that comes to the house to help Sara attend to Alice from time to time, to secure an item from the cupboard. Intent on doing exactly what she asked, as I am totally on board with being of as much assistance as I can to Sara and the work she does with and for Alice. But, when I turn to make my request, I notice that there are actually 3 individuals here with us. One of them is Alice, the other 2 I have never met before, but I make my request to one of them. Interestingly enough, I recognize this person. (in this dream, they are all on a shelf, Alice, and 2 other females, but for the sake of this story we shall say, they were sitting at the kitchen table.)
One of the 2 females, appeared to be developmentally challenged which I found peculiar for her to be here as Sara had never mentioned she had more than one person she was caring for.
I turn and speak to Alice saying, “I recognize that person.”
She responds, “Really, how is that?”
I say, “Well, interestingly enough, just the other day, I was taking a walk and we crossed paths. We did not exchange greetings but I clearly remember that face.”
Alice responds, “Hmmmm, that’s strange. That’s Doctor Wellington. She works at the hospital where I work. Interesting that you would see her while taking your walk the other day.”
“Yes, but you know how life goes. Sometimes you may see someone in a brief moment and only find out later, that that person may become an integral part of your life. It happens.” I say.
To me it was more than interesting. Dr. Wellington appeared to be quite developmentally challenged herself. That she was a doctor really peaked my curiosity but I dare not mention that, as I did not want to appear biased or unaccepting that someone who “appeared” developmentally challenged could not achieve the status of a Doctor who worked at a hospital. Dr. Wellington was approximately 5 ft. tall, dark hair, 150 pounds, slanted wayward eyes that held a deep but stationary stare. She seemed to be away into her own thoughts, not really present in the moment we were in. I wondered what kind of response I would get from her if I posed any question, let alone ask her to retrieve something from the cupboard.
In that moment, it didn’t really matter anymore, Sara instantly doubled over, grabbing her stomach and crying out in pain, as she would do from time to time. My attention quickly diverted from my thoughts and to caring for the woman I loved.
I attempt to assist her as best I could, while she reassured me not to worry, these attacks happen from time to time, and are quickly over in a flash. Within minutes she recovers and resumes her duties of taking care of Alice and preparing herself and Alice for a work day at the hospital.
I did find it a bit curious that she would want to take Alice along with her. I wondered what Alice did there alongside her caregiving Nurse. I quickly put those thoughts out of my mind.
Today I will accompany Sara to work. And if possible, I will not only assist Sara but will volunteer to assist anyone else who needs me.
Chapter 3
We arrive. Sara works in a prestigious high rise building of 23 floors. She worked on the 23rd floor. The building appeared to me to be more of an office building than a hospital. But I am naïve, with little knowledge of hospitals in general, not to mention hospitals that are dedicated to developmentally challenged individuals of all ages. I do not question the scenario for surely Sara is much more equipped to make it all make sense than I ever could. Her stark, elegant beauty would make anywhere make sense as far as I was concerned.
We park, enter the building and take the elevator to the 23rd floor. There are several rooms on this floor. The dark wood paneling and shining wood floors gave the appearance of an elegant hotel, not a hospital. The hallway is dimly lit with soft toned ceiling lamps. There were several adults moving thru the halls with young and old developmentally challenged individuals. They seemed to be attending to them in the manner that Sara did. Totally engaged and supportive of those they were caring for. It still seemed peculiar to call it a hospital. The environment was far from the sterile scene I expected. The staff here, did not appear as doctors or nurses dressed in hospital uniforms, but more like care-givers dressed in regular street clothing. I simply assumed that this was a “different” kind of hospital as I was certain that Sara was a nurse who worked here.
After just a few minutes, Sara thanked me for all my help and told me that I could leave now. Needless to say, I am a bit disappointed. I really wanted to help, be a part of the team, make a difference in the lives of these underserved people and of course be near Sara the whole time. But I took my leave.
As I travel down in the elevator to the first floor, I wonder about Sara’s condition. I wonder if it may be contagious. Is it a bug or something that can be transmitted through kissing. I had had no symptoms but it did occur to me that maybe I should ask about that. A young lady on the elevator responded as if she had read my thoughts.
“Why of course, we all have parasites in our intestines. That doesn’t mean they can be transmitted to another. It basically means we all have them.” She says rather matter of fact manner.
It did give me pause. I began to wonder about my own parasites and if maybe there was a remedy that I could take to keep them at bay. Since I had no apparent symptoms, I assumed I shouldn’t worry too much, but being uncertain I thought that maybe I should consult with Sara about it. After all she was a nurse and could probably give me some good advice. Advice that would be more helpful than the matter of fact response I got from the lady in the elevator.
I decide to go back to the 23rd floor, find Sara and ask a professional what course I should take. Obviously, Sara should know, although her condition seemed chronic, I was certain she knew exactly what to do, if indeed her condition was caused by parasites.
Chapter 4
Back on the 23rd floor I look for Sara and Alice. Since I took my leave so quickly after my arrival, I did not get an opportunity to see exactly where Sara worked. There were several rooms along this very long hallway. People were going in and out of them so I had no idea which room she would be in. But I was certain I would find her or at least someone would tell me where she was.
As I walked down the hallway, I noticed that some of these rooms had windows covered with venetian blinds. I concluded that would make my search even easier as I could see into the room more easily and quickly move on to the next room after seeing she was not in there instead of having to knock on each door in my search for Sara.
I come upon one such room and peer thru the venetian blinds. There she is. She is talking with another man. He is about 6ft tall, blonde hair, rather attractive and seemingly another professional, yet they are exchanging endearing glances. Sara does not appear to be at all in any physical discomfort. In fact she is licking a vanilla ice cream cone and offering it to this man. He takes a few licks of the ice cream and returns it to her. Then they passionately kiss each other.
My mind begins to race. Hang on, what is happening here?
I have too many questions.
What about her chronic condition that makes her double over in pain?
Could she be passing parasites to this man as they share the ice cream?
Why is she kissing this man this way?
Does he realize that she may be infecting him?
I am standing there, looking through the venetian blinds feeling as if I am invading her privacy while by the same token, I am wondering what is the meaning of all this?
Like a groundswell, I become overcome with curiosity about what exactly is going on, on the 23rd floor of this building.
I decide to disguise myself and take a look for myself. (this is a dream so here we do what dreams do.) I remove my jacket, shirt and pants, put on a blue full length shawl like cape and blend into the crowd of people headed towards the auditorium. There was a distinct difference in the demographics of this crowd. The developmentally challenged individuals appeared to be being kettle towards the auditorium by their caregivers who ranged in age from mid-20’s or so to seniors. The developmentally challenged individuals were dressed in a variety of ways, so I didn’t seem too much out of place. I made sure that I got no where near Sara, as for surely she would recognize me.
Chapter 5
Seated towards the back of the auditorium, I could hear a man speaking. He sounded like a principal, reminiscent of my days in high school. However, what he was saying would have never been said in any of my high school assemblies.
“Good morning, everyone, today we will be discussing the vagina. The vagina is a hole in the female body that needs to be used a lot. It is there just waiting to be used. Anyone with a vagina should welcome it being used by anyone who can use it.
Sometimes vaginas can be slippery and wet and that makes them even easier to use. But don’t worry, if your vagina is not slippery and wet it can be used anyway. It’s supposed to be used and it’s supposed to be used often. Make sure that you allow your vagina to be used at any time in any place. Do you understand?”
The crowd responded…. “Yes!”
I did not respond yes, at all.
My response was, “What the fuck is going on here? Am I actually hearing what I am hearing? Is this man insane? Why is he telling these people to use a vagina often and whenever and where ever they can? Why is he normalizing using a vagina in this manner? And specifically, why is he telling these developmentally challenged individuals, who quite clearly, have no ability to discern the appropriateness of what he was saying to them. Actually, he was instructing them, particularly the females to allow themselves to be sexually abused as if it was the normal order of the day.”
Needless to say, all my pristine imagery of how Sara was wondrously dedicated to the health and well-being of Alice crashed in that very moment. I hear her voice in my head saying,
“You want to marry me, but I don’t think you would want to stay married to me, especially not forever.”
They tell us that love is not a faucet to be turned on and off, but I can tell you truly, all that I felt for her was turned off in that very moment. I was beyond appalled and disgusted, I was terrified to even be in the same room with her, or any of them. My desire to escape was so intense I would have jumped out of the nearest window. Not in my wildest dreams would I want to be a part of the sexualization of these helpless people. Never would I want to be a part of normalizing abusing them sexually. I felt as if I had entered a secret cult and I could only imagine what happened to these innocent souls after having such an “assembly”. I had to escape, immediately.
Chapter 6
I quietly moved myself to the back of the auditorium as the “principal” continued to bellow out the most outrageous commands to this helpless audience with the onerous consent of all their caregivers. I cannot explain the utter contempt I felt for this man and the so called caregivers who were charged with taking honorable care of these hapless individuals.
Safely in the hallway I quickly head towards the nearest elevator.
“Stop, stop, stop! I am going to kill you!” A female voices screeches out to me. She lunges at me with a paper straw as if it were a knife.
“Stop, stop, I said, I am gonna kill you right now!”
My mind raced from shock to disbelief to pity to understanding. Somewhere in this little person’s mind, she felt indignant enough to retaliate against her violation. But so out of touch that she did not realize that she could not stab me or even kill me with a paper straw. Her countenance was one of a killer framed in the persona of someone who could barely understand or even manipulate the physical world around her. She was clearly developmentally challenged but somewhere in her little brain, she knew she had to fight back! Her demeanor, in an instance, changed from threatening to playful as she smiled and laughed at how she had startled or maybe even frightened me.
I had little time to consider the impact on my psyche at that time. All I knew was that I had to leave quickly. It barely entered my mind that the disguise I was wearing may appear strange to anyone on the elevator going down. In fact, it didn’t matter. I had to get out of there as quickly as possible.
I didn’t have to push her out of my way. I didn’t have to say a word. She laughed at me as she quickly walked away from me and entered the auditorium. It appeared she may have taken a bathroom break and in the moment of leaving the bathroom, something came over her and she saw me as her enemy, someone she needed to kill. Once the moment passed she calmly walked away.
The elevator door could not open fast enough. I jumped into the elevator and stared at the button 23. My finger hoovered over that button for a split second then I quickly pushed the button 1 with such urgency it drew the attention of the other person in the elevator.
I had no time to think of anything except getting out of there as fast as I could. I knew that I would never want to see Sara again. It was over for me in more than a thousand ways. She was right. I didn’t realize how right she was till the darkness of her work pierced into my brain that day.
She was right!
Not only would I not want to stay married to her forever.
I no longer wanted to marry her at all!
decacsinc 
